I had been feeling in need of help and healing for some time after a period of what I felt to be literal psychic attacks from dark forces within and without. I scheduled a healing ceremony with a well known spiritual healer and herbalist, and at the exact time of the healing ceremony, held in the United States, I was in the Middle East, many thousands of miles away. Yet most palpably I could feel the build-up of subtle energies at the exact time and immediately prior to the healing ceremony being initiated! I was sitting, wide awake I might add, on my bed, and my body started going into involuntary paroxysms and jerking movements as this strong energy coursed through my body to remove the psycho –physical blocks and debris within. My head and neck and back in particular were subjected to an intense pressure and tightening contracting effect and I started making inarticulate rasping and hissing sounds as my lower jaw began moving up and down spontaneously in a kind of gnashing of teeth!
Then, suddenly, there was a kind of virulent expulsion of energy through the throat as I coughed forcefully a few times as if ‘vomiting’ out a nasty foreign substance or toxic energy. My body felt immense relief and started to relax after the ‘vomiting’. I kept on repeating out loud the prayer, as in a kind of self- exorcism: “whatever you are in the name of Christ, leave me now and forever”. My head was as it were yanked from side to side for several minutes . I had the feeling of a kind of dirty black liquid being drained from my spinal column and an image flashed into my mind of a big black monkey that had been sitting on top of my head, its hands clasped over my eyes, its feet entwined around my neck, being pulled off me at last. After about half an hour I felt calm with just a sense of profound relief as if a huge weight and burden had been lifted from me, that something had been feeding me (and feeding off me!) dark ,depressive, self sabotaging thoughts my whole life to madden and destabilize me and prevent me from coming into the fullness of who I really Am. . For a few hours and most of the next day I felt very spaced out – I literally don’t know how I managed to get through the next day at work! And my neck and upper back were sore. I had been provided with herbal essences that helped to ground and calm me and in the following days I felt restored and refreshed, though a bit raw and vulnerable.
So what ongoing results do I perceive from this healing process, undertaken about a month ago now? First of all, I feel calmer and more at peace with myself, with others, with God, with existence, on a consistent basis, far less prone to periodic bouts of depression, melancholia, debilitating misery. I am left feeling for the most part but the ghosts, the echoes, the habitual vestiges of this programming, which I think subconsciously hijacked me at various times, telling me as if in a hypnotic, repetitive internal voice that life was hopeless, I was trapped in a prison in an evil wasteland world, guilty and condemned to serve out my ‘sentence’ with almost no hope of change, enlightenment, liberation etc. . I was to grimly just ‘survive’ passing through endless “karmic’ ordeals, tests and tribulations, with a few a odd tidbit highly transient pleasures thrown in just enough to sweeten the rather bitter fruit and keep my shoulder to the wheel till my time was up! I am now definitely, though still tired and frustrated at times, generally happier and more positive in my daily life.
Furthermore, I find myself more patient and tolerant of other people though I feel impelled still to avoid very negative folk when I can. I feel sharper and more discriminating, as if some gunge were removed from my nose so I can more easily ‘smell a rat’, a lot more independent and self-empowered; not always frantically seeking for some Master, or ‘channel’, or guru etc. to tell me what’s what. I have more confidence in my own beliefs, intuitions, understandings, even if people around me disagree with or scorn me. I feel spiritually and even physically ‘safer’ – the relentless attacks from dark forces and deceptive spirits posing as ‘angels’ and ‘guides’ etc. seem to have abated, such as the barrage of fraudulent emails and phone calls. I sense my consciousness is already residing for the most part in 5th density, almost effortlessly; that 3rd density thoughts and physical involvements, work, and ‘chop wood, carry water’ are quite peripheral to the sense of who I Am. Though I mostly manage to function quite well much of the time. And this I absolutely know, and don’t just believe, I live in the world but am not of it, that first and foremost I am Spirit and a Son of the Most High, Adonai, a ray of the Christos Sun, Om Amen forever and forever; though cloaked and costumed still in this physical persona and body.
Looking back over the past year – oh the joy of hindsight! – and many people have commented that 2013 was a very difficult year, like going through a dark tunnel or inextricable labyrinth of potholes beneath a fathomless cave! – I see now I was dazed and confused, impatient to ‘ascend’, hyped up with all the apocalyptic fervour and cacophonous verbiage of ‘2012’ etc. But the bottom line is I simply was not ready, I was trying to force the pace, Prospero-like with futile presumptive magic, compel things to my will prematurely, and with what proved to be near catastrophic effects. Neither it seems were most individuals ready, for the humanities are still embroiled in a life and death struggle with worn out collapsing systems and the failing paradigms of materialism, nationalism, scientism, religious fundamentalism, extreme capitalism etc. . alongside the old old shadows of deceit, brutality and corruption in high places. And all the above almost unprecendentedly wrapped in a Pandora’s Box of ecological crisis, climate change, and the imminent breakdown of planetary systems! All now hangs in the balance and this spring particularly there seems to be an eerie calm before an even greater storm. Yet my faith has been strengthened, as if resurrected from the land of the dead, as in D. H. Lawrence’s great poem, The song of the Man Who Has Come Through; and I know not when or how but that somehow it will happen: my soul and the soul (the risen Sophia) of Mother Gaia will shift gear and move on to the next turn of the evolutionary spiral. And we shall not be defeated, nor blocked from activating our higher multi dimensional potentials, by ‘implants’ and entities that feast upon and ferment our worst fears and lowest egoic tendencies – a cycle ultimately more auspicious, truly conscious, holistic, compassionate and unitary. I am so grateful to God, to Mother Earth and my healers for this opportunity.
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